Sunday, 12 July 2015

For Carla

On my high school we had an English teacher with the name of Carla. She was not as thin as our French teacher, a petite mademoiselle, but she was bigger. And I had a secret crush on Carla. She had this red cheeks and eyes filled with naughtiness. Like a kid that is going to get into mischief any minute now. And at the end of our class she recited some of the wonderful, wonderful John O'Mill poems and I liked his limericks the best, like Pete's Knot:

Three arrogant pupils of class Five 3
attempted to drive the spot with me
But I had them through
and before they knew
I set them for Snot, Pete Snot, you see
John 'O Mill

This English teacher made poetry out of the mistakes of his pupils. A combination of Dutch and English woven into one poem. I will explain the poem because to all non-Dutch it will make no sense at all:

To drive the spot with me (someone) = (Dutch) de spot drijven met mij (iemand) = mocking me.
I had them trough = (Dutch) iemand doorhebben = saw trough, figured it out
I set them for snot, Pete Snot = Ik zette hem voor Piet Snot = I made I fool out of them. And Piet Snot sounds very much like Pet's Knot, the title of the limerick.

You know Limerick? Rime AABBA the first line preferred to end on the name of a place? Of course you do. Here are some other wonderful ones:

There was a young gal name of Sally
Who loved an occasional dally.
She sat on the lap
Of a well-endowed chap
Crying, "Gee, Dick, you're right up my alley!"

or

She said “Your arse, I’ll be fistin’!”
I said “Ummm?” But she was insistin’
So four fingers and thumb
Slid up my lubed bum
Not stoppin’ till she had her whole wrist in.

 or
 
I bought a new Hoover today,
Plugged it in in the usual way,
Switched it on - what a din;
It sucked everything in,
Now I'm homeless with no place to stay.
Anonymus (to me)

OK, one more:

Jenny works very hard, scrimps and saves.
Her reviews exult: all of them raves.
Every guy feels her heat,
But I’ve got them all beat:
My big dick is the one that she craves.

So this one, Carla, was for you. I hope you'd like it and didn't find too much mistakes in my English...
 

10 comments:

  1. Totally different from my teacher English, an old Franciscan monk. I am sure you had much more fun, Han.

    appy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, One of my dearest memories are the end of English class with miss Carla.

      Monks, huh? No limericks to be found,

      Han

      Delete
  2. Carla did what teachers should do, make learning fun. Weren't you lucky?

    Your English is sooooo much better than my Dutch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was a lucky guy indeed to have had such a pretty and clever teacher, Leigh.

      Han

      Delete
  3. Thanks for the translation! As a former English teacher I also salute Carla! Limericks were used in my classroom....always looked for way to make things more interesting and fun! Thanks for a great way to start my day.
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, she was a smart cookie, Carla. Monique was the other female teacher, but her French mannerisms was so different compared Carla's enthusiasm when she found a great new poem!

      Like I said to Leigh, I was a lucky guy,
      Han

      Delete
  4. I sure never had a teacher like that Han. Thanks for sharing the fun limericks.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It helps when you have a teacher you admire. You work harder, you listen better. LOL, Doesn't always show in my English, but she did her best anyway, don't blame Carla.

      Smile,
      Glad you liked the limericks,

      Han

      Delete
  5. Your teacher was creative, they are always the ones we learn the most from. But I learned a little from the limericks too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The limericks are fun,aren't they?
      There once was a fellow McSweeny
      Who spilled some gin on his weenie
      Just to be couth
      He added vermouth
      Then slipped his girlfriend a martini.

      Smile,
      Han

      Delete

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