Thursday, 4 June 2015

Seems like yesterday

Yesterday my mother died. Many years ago, almost as much as my daughter is now. I woke up yesterday and I could hear the telephone ringing like it did the night she died. In the middle of the night. There was a time when somebody thought it was fun to call me in the middle of the night just to hang up when I answered. I'm glad that over. My first thought is when the phone rings at night: my father is dead.
I'm glad it is quiet again at night.

The phone didn't ring yesterday of course. Just my dreams I think. I meditated a short while got a quick shower and went off to work. At work a co-worker was complaining about her kids. They are in their teens and quite a handful. And I tried to explain to her the things a mother does, even more so than a father, are so important to a child and at some day and time her kids would remember what she did for them. She looked at me with that: "good-advice-old-man"-look. It doesn't matter.

Yesterday I was at my fathers house like we often do at June, 3rd. Only this time the door was closed and my sister told me he had gone to his girlfriend. Ah well. 18 years ago. A lifetime for many. He moved on. Good for him. Have I moved on? In a way. I like to spend time with my family on her birthday and on the day she died. I talk of her a lot, I have found out and not only the nice and fun memories, but also the little bad habits she had. Like she was really mad at us for being a few minutes late at the hospital visiting hour. When the visiting hour began we should have been there. That we all worked and had to race to get there in the first place was irrelevant. Ah yes, she was like that.

I understand it if you don't get it: after 18 years still writing about her. But sometimes it seems yesterday, you know....


12 comments:

  1. I do know. Twenty-three years for me and I'll never stop thinking of her or talking about or to her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mother! Father and mother is man and wife; man and wife is one flesh; and so, my mother

      (Hamlet, Shakespeare)

      Delete
  2. I understand also Han...I'm lucky enough to still have my mother but I lost my dad 22 almost 23 years ago and I still think and talk about him along with my aunt and uncle who we lost around the same time. Any time you want to share stories or reminisce, I would be delighted to listen.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks, shall win my love.

      (The taming of the shrew, Shakespeare)

      Delete
  3. It's always good to talk about those who have left us and to remember them by doing just that. It's not strange at all. It's comforting.

    I have a feeling that I will talk about my ex-husband more this month. His birthday and our wedding anniversary happened in June. So, I do not find it weird at all to talk or write about people close to us who have departed.

    I am sure that she is looking down at you and appreciates that you mark her memory every year.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I too understand, Han. My father died about 42 years ago at the age of 64 and my mother 35 years ago at the age of 67.
    I often dream about them.
    It's good not to forget.

    appy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are such stuff
      As dreams are made on; and our little life
      Is rounded with a sleep.

      (The Tempest, Shakespeare)

      Delete
  5. Of course, you think of her, Han. She was your mother.
    Remember her, she will always be with you.
    Talk to her. Talk about her.
    As long as you do it as long as she with you.
    and next year ist i maybe your turn to icolect family to remember your mom.

    Take care, my friend,
    Mona Lisa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's rosemary, that's for remembrance. Pray you, love, remember.

      (Hamlet, Shakespeare)

      Delete
  6. I am just catching up here...and I do so get it. It has been 3 years, going on 4 for my dad...and just recently for my mom. I think of them every day...sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a tear. Great love inspires great memories...and longing.
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do have great memories and the longing after so long is associated with those memories.

      We should celebrate life every day, Abby and count our blessings,
      Run out of Shakespeare quotes, sorry,

      Han

      Delete

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