Wednesday, 1 April 2015

A = Alpha Male

Who or what is it/he?

According to the Urban Dictionary an Alpha Male is:

The term 'Alpha Male' can be defined in both a classical and modern sense. The classical definition derives from the animal kingdom and represents a physical form of dominance over other males. The alpha male lion, for example, claims sexual rights to all females, fights off other male lions to enforce it, eats first after every hunt and dominates a vast territory of land for hunting rights.

In a modern/human sense, younger males (teens, early 20s) will subscribe to the classical form. Like a lion, they will often be the strongest, most intimidating, hit on all of the women beta males want, are usually the first to have new sexual experiences and often dominate a set territory in their 'hunt' for new women, such as local nightclub scenes.

Older alpha males, however, will evolve the classical traits of strength, intimidation and dominance beyond the physical by gaining power over men through their very means of living and professional reputation. A powerful business executive, for example, will hire, promote, demote and fire others according to how well they serve his own interests. Rock stars, famous actors and other individuals of 'power' hold very similar capabilities over others in their respective professions.

Younger alpha males who cannot mature into the modern form will usually cling to the classical form of alpha-maleness for as long as possible.
Mike Tyson was the alpha-male of boxing until Evander Holyfield defeated him, while Bill Gates is currently the alpha male of the software industry.
by Doc Xavian December 29, 2008 

How about Alpha Males in BDSM? 

In his excellent post Dennis Najee wrote in Domination versus the Alpha Male basically that although the Alpha Male is "something that is often talked about in our society as one who is revered and respected.  This is the person who is the business leader.  He is also the one who scores all the hot women at the bar.  This person is one who exudes confidence while always portraying an image of control.  In short, women want him and other men want to be like him." Najee points out that dominant may look like Alpha Males at first glance, but are in fact very different. The Alpha Male is used that the world turns around him. He uses control basically because out of his own fear. He is afraid of losing face, losing money, losing his submissive. He likes to be at the centre of attention.
Najee claims that the true Dominant is a rather introvert person, quiet and his control comes from inner confidence.  A true Dominant is not afraid to make mistakes or to admit them. A person who is tolerant and flexible, who understands human faults and is really capable of dealing with human beings. A Dominant is truly in control of his own life, to take on the responsibility of handling his submissive.

Christian Grey

As I pointed out before the film "Fifty Shades of Grey" that is so popular nowadays shows us an Alpha Male. But I agree with Dennis Najee (that wrote some great books as well) that a true Dominant has control over his own life first and foremost.


  1. Loved this post Han! Have never read Dennis Najee but wow! His description of Alpha vs Dominant makes so much sense. My ex was and still is more of an Alpha whereas my Matthew was more of a Dominant. Thanks for sharing.

    Hugs and blessings...

    1. Thank you, Cat! Can't say I have heard of the man either, but he writes very clear and good. I will visit his blog more often (he has been posting for quite a while now).

      So many blogs,
      So little time,

      Wonderful comment, thank you,


  2. I agree with Cat, Dennis Najee's description does make sense.

    1. Doesn't it? At least it made sense to me...

      Smile to you Leigh,

  3. This post stroke me as I can't help myself to draw a parallel between the Apha male described here and a narcissistic individual with psychopathic tenancies.

    1. I can understand what you mean Linda, it is only for some time now that BDSM is officially not a mental disease anymore. It is play, roleplay if you will.

      And in the most extreme form the Alpha is a bit self centered yes.
      You were right,

      Thanks your your comment,

  4. I know one Alpha male,
    I can't stand him.
    I know one Dom,
    I like him very much.

    Thank you, Han, very interesting .
    Now I know : WHY

    Take care,
    Mona Lisa

    1. Ah that sounds as mysterious as the Mona Lisa herself... But I'm glad I have helped you to make the difference clearer for you.

      Wonderful comment,

  5. This is really interesting, I read the post twice and may even read it again to fully understand it all. To me, an alpha male is one who is kind of like the one in charge in business (the boss), with friends (leader) or at home where he runs the house. I have made the comment that my husband is an alpha male as is my son, but my son is only second is command here, which tends to cause some arguments. But when my son moves out, he can be the alpha male in his house. A dominant makes me think more of a control freak. I may call my husband a dom but he is really the alpha male around the house and a dom in the bedroom. Just my opinion

    1. There are as many opinions as to the words used in "the community" as there are people. It doesn't matter how you define your husband. It matters that you love him and he loves you. All other things are irrelevant. How do people refer to him? It is your opinion of him that counts, Blonde.

      And your opinion is just as relevant as mine or Mr. Najee's.
      And I'm glad you chose to share it with me.

      Thank you for your comment, Blonde,


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