Tuesday, 30 September 2014

On the nightshift

From the newspaper:

First: Nurse, I can't sleep.  YES, SO WHAT?!
Third: Yes, but aren't you on your night shift? YES, SO WHAT?!

 I think it's so funny. To all the people on the night shift: Be patient.

Good Girl!

Not taxes, is it?

Greed 5

Sunday, 28 September 2014

Naked in the supermarket

Married people take each other often for granted. Some man seek the tension of the chase somewhere else. My wife surprises me every so often so I don't take her for granted. (I still think it is amazing she chose me - of all people - to marry). And every now and then I just look at her like I see her for the first time. You know, sometimes I look at her in our car, or just shopping groceries behind the metal shopping cart. In my thoughts I take away her clothes. Slowly, one by one until she is completely naked. Looking at Broccoli and weighing it to see the price. Or walking through the isles muttering in herself why they have changed the pasta again in a different isle. And I see her eyes concentrated behind her glasses on finding the pasta. I see her mouth and I know I want to kiss it. I see the curves of her neck with one small chain of gold around it and nothing else. I see the swell of her breasts and I know what I want to do with them. I see the lovely belly and the treasure that makes her woman. I see her legs and I know that if I met her for the first time, I would think: What would I give to have sex with this woman. Honest to God, I think that.

And she is mine. I can have sex with her tonight and she would not scream; Rape! She would not make sassy remarks. I do not have to take her to dinner and buy her flowers and hope to get lucky.
I have bought her flowers today.
Because I am so lucky.

Greed 3

The Way We Were

"The Way We Were" is the title song to the 1973 movie The Way We Were, starring Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. The song was written by Alan Bergman and Marilyn Bergman (lyrics) and Marvin Hamlisch (music) and performed by Streisand. It won the Academy Award and Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song and also made AFI's list of Top 100 Songs from Film; it was ranked number eight.

Memories light the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories of the way we were

Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were.

Can it be that it was all so simple then
Or has time rewritten every line
If we had the chance to do it all again, tell me, would we, could we

Memories may be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember we simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter we will remember
Whenever we remember the way we were.

The way we were
Songwriters: LEWIS, MICHELLE
Sung by Barbra Streisand 

Saturday, 27 September 2014

My heart love till now forswear it sight, for I never saw true beauty till this night

"Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight! For I never saw true beauty till this night!" 

Romeo and Juliet, Act I scene V 
William Shakespeare

Greed 2


The loneliest people are the kindest.
The saddest people smile the brightest.
The most damaged people are the wisest.
All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.

Friday, 26 September 2014

Greed 1


Greed (Latin, avaritia), also known as avarice, cupidity or covetousness, is, like lust and gluttony, a sin of excess. However, greed (as seen by the church) is applied to a very excessive or rapacious desire and pursuit of material possessions. Thomas Aquinas wrote:
"Greed is a sin against God, just as all mortal sins, in as much as man condemns things eternal for the sake of temporal things." 
In Dante's Purgatory, the penitents were bound and laid face down on the ground for having concentrated too much on earthly thoughts. Scavenging and hoarding of materials or objects, theft and robbery, especially by means of violence, trickery, or manipulation of authority are all actions that may be inspired by Greed. Such misdeeds can include simony, where one attempts to purchase or sell sacraments, including Holy Orders and, therefore, positions of authority in the Church hierarchy.

As defined outside of Christian writings, greed is an inordinate desire to acquire or possess more than one needs, especially with respect to material wealth.

The leaders of our companies worldwide seem all seem to be blinded by greed. Bonuses , Exit premiums all seem to have one goal: to become more and more rich yourself at the expense of others.


Thursday, 25 September 2014

Wrath 7

The seven deadly sins has inspired artists of all times to visualize each of the sins. Today the last one of Wrath:

What is wrong with this picture?

I can find nothing wrong with this picture. 

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Weighing day

It is Wednesday Weight Watchers Weighing Day again. Lost 1,6 kilo's this week, adding up to 7,6 kilo since I started 8 weeks ago. My goal is one kilo a week. I wish I hadn't said that.

Weighing Day

Wrath 6

The seven deadly sins has inspired artists of all times to visualize each of the sins. Each day from a different angle:

Wrath (Anger)

Corsets series

Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain

A week without a kissing topic is a week not blogged.

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Monday, 22 September 2014

Blindfold Adventure 2

Use of a blindfold is said to enhance the remaining senses of the wearer, focusing attention on sound, smells and physical contact. This increased awareness is said to allow for greater excitement and anticipation by eliminating visual cues, as one cannot see what to expect. It also requires trust of the submissive, with all the emotional ramifications that entails.(Wikipedia)

My beloved is very different than I am. Perhaps that is why we match so well. Opposites attract and all that. My wife is an extrovert person and has lots and lots of friends. She is a likeable person. I'm not. I'm more introverted and more to myself. My wife as a bit of an exhibitionist streak over her. She likes to walk in the nude in our house (on the ground floor) and like to flaunt a bit in the sauna.  So my little blindfold trip was a lot of fun for her...

Anyway she deserved a treat. She has been a real trouper about this bankcard issue in the Quattuordecim challenge and Saturday was a celebration for the two of us. We went to a small forest near Zeist (see location underneath this post). We know this part of the woods well, we have been there many times. We played a little in our secluded spot. Last time we did that we had a group of people walking by - including a few kids :-( . So much for secluded. No place in the Netherlands is private, there are always people somewhere around. But we were early and nobody this time. Relief on my part :-)
A blindfold and a gag is easy to explain, but a guys head busy under a ladies skirt, that is something else. It is a double blindfold, LOL.

Anyway, after she made herself presentable again we went for a very nice long walk trough the woods, enjoyed the mushrooms everywhere, saw something that we believe was a deer, but probably was something else. After that we had a very nice lunch and drove slowly home.

It was a wonderful pre-birthday, one of the best I ever had.
Thank you, my girlfriend. I love you.

Wrath 4

The seven deadly sins has inspired artists of all times to visualize each of the sins. Each day from a different angle:

Wrath (Anger)

Pieter Breughel de Oude

Sunday, 21 September 2014

Wrath 3

The seven deadly sins has inspired artists of all times to visualize each of the sins. Each day from a different angle:

Wrath (Anger)

Sunday poem, third stanza, last line

A contemplative poem on Sunday. Just like it should be.

Once upon a time flew this rambling Dutchman,
from his loose stool holding his eruptive abdomen.
That's Gross, my reader said with a frown,
at least now I know why your blog is brown. ...

Charlie Brown loves his unattainable red haired girl
got finally his act together and gave her a whirl
The red haired girl was startled and slapped his face
and said: "Next time I spank your ass, you nutcase!"

I have found a safe place to shield my nuts,

Finally I recovered and showed some guts:
I asked her if I could just comb her hair
and kissed her until she came up for air. 

Twin birthday

My wife and daughter say I'm worse than a kid. They may be right (didn't find my present). But I'm looking forward to my twin year for quite some time now. And now I am. The next time I will be 66 and one year from retirement. Amazing huh? What can happen in 11 years? What will happen in 11 years? What were the highlights since my 44th birthday? Always contemplating, dear Han. But not today. Today is a day of celebration. (I bought a present for myself. I just love the looks on their faces that says: I didn't buy this one, did you?) 

My 5 has got a twin and she looks just like him!

So, Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday dear warm-hearted, kind, handsome, cordial, sweet-tempered, attractive, self-sacrificing, right nice, tender, peaceful, gentle Ha-Han,
Happy Birthday to me.

Year of Manufacture

You are curious what happened yesterday, huh? Can't tell now. I'm celebrating. Maybe he made it up? Maybe he made it up to her? Maybe... you will have to wait and see.

Have a wonderful day. The sun is shining. 
Just for me.

Saturday, 20 September 2014

Wrath 2

The seven deadly sins has inspired artists of all times to visualize each of the sins. Each day from a different angle:

Wrath (Anger)

Blindfold Adventure 1

Left in the dark. No way of knowing where he takes her. She's in a car. Destination unknown. Tomorrow is his birthday. But he has a present for her one day before that. Tomorrow she'll get her bankcard back. 14 days of relinquish is coming to an end. But where does he take her now? Why the blindfold? Why the mystery? What if they end up in a traffic jam? What if somebodies sees and call the police? What if? What if? 

For crying out loud: What is he going to do?

Friday, 19 September 2014

Wrath 1

The seven deadly sins has inspired artists of all times to visualize each of the sins. Each day from a different angle:

Wrath (Anger)


The seven deadly Sins. Why these and who said they were deadly? And why? Time to investigate.
The video is 44 minutes. I think it's worth watching.  Maybe it's way too long for you. That's OK. You decide for yourself.

Wrath (Latin, ira), also known as "rage", may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. Wrath, in its purest form, presents with self-destructiveness, violence, and hate that may provoke feuds that can go on for centuries. Wrath may persist long after the person who did another a grievous wrong is dead. Feelings of anger can manifest in different ways, including impatience, revenge, and self-destructive behaviour, such as drug abuse or suicide.

Wrath is the only sin not necessarily associated with selfishness or self-interest, although one can of course be wrathful for selfish reasons, such as jealousy (closely related to the sin of envy). Dante described vengeance as "love of justice perverted to revenge and spite". In its original form, the sin of wrath also encompassed anger pointed internally as well as externally.

Thursday, 18 September 2014

I realized that bullying never has to do with you. It's the bully who's insecure.

Anti-bullying Pledge

This is for me...

...my friends today...

And my friends tomorrow.

I think being mean stinks...

I won’t watch someone get picked on

Because I am a do something person...

...not a do nothing person.

I care

I can help change things

I can be a leader

In my world there are no bullies allowed.

Bullying is bad...

Bullying bites...

Bullying bothers me.

I know sticking up for someone is the right thing to do...

My name is Han van Meegeren

And I won’t stand by...

I will stand up.


Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Not good -> Bad?

Wednesday night Weighing Weight Watchers Day. Gained 0,9 kilos instead of losing weight. Frustrating. We had a team outing today and ate some I shouldn't have. We do eat healthy every day so that is not the problem. Got to figure out what is the other problem I don't see right now.

Stormy weather

Don't know why, there's no sun up in the sky
Stormy weather, since my man and I ain't together
Keeps raining all the time

Be careful

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Turn Ons

I found these Turn Ons, considered them, considered them again and yes. They do turn me on.

This will make you sing

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.


The Management does not accept liability for any accident, injury or misadventure. Bloggers and co-showerers are responsible for making their own insurance arrangements in respect of any injuries suffered by them, or caused by them to any third party.

Monday, 15 September 2014

A kiss cost nothing. So kiss on!

Don't be afraid to kiss with more than your lips. After your lips have been glued together for some time, open them slightly. Then put the tip of your tongue out so that you can feel the smooth surface of your kissee's teeth. This will be a signal for her to respond in kind. If she is wholly in accord with you, if she is, truly, your real love-mate, then you will notice that she, too, has opened her lips slightly and that., soon, her teeth will be parted. Then, if she is all that she should be, she should project the tip of her tongue so that it meets with the tip of yours.

Heaven will be in that union!

Lava will run through your veins instead of blood. Your breath will come in short gasps. There will rise up in you an Overpowering, overwhelming surge of emotion such as you have never before experienced. If you are a man, you will clutch the shoulders of your loved one and sense a shudder course through you that makes you pant. If you are a woman, and being kissed, you will feel a strange languor passing through your limbs, your entire body. A shudder will go through you. You will moan in the delicious transports of love. And, in all probabilities, you will go faint because the blood in your veins will be rushing furiously into your entire system and away from your head. Thus,
you will be unable to think any longer. You will only be able to feel, td feel the most exquisite of pleasures that it has been your lot to feel.

Surely, there is more to your tongue than merely its tip. Probe further. Go deeper. Gently caress ,each other's tongues. For, in doing this, you are merging your souls. That is why this kiss was called the "soul" kiss by the French who were said to be the first people to have perfected it.. The French have always been a liberal minded people. And, it is because of the fact that they dropped Puritanism many years ago, that they were able to. perfect themselves in the art of love and, particularly, in the art of kissing.

Kisses cost nothing. So kiss on. There is one thing that you cannot. take away from people and that is the ability to make love to each other. Despite the fact that the world suffered from a long depression, people continued to get married and they continued to have children. In fact, according to recently released figures, there were, more children born during the depression than there had been in good times. This means that, although married people did not have money, they still had themselves. They still had love. They still had the ability to kiss as they pleased and when they pleased and as often as they pleased.

Let us say that you have revelled in a sweet, long kiss. Suddenly, you see your loved one's eyes close as though in a moment of weariness. Gently detach your lips from her's and raise them up to her closed eyelids. Drop a kisslet first on one eyelid and then on the other. Feel the rolling orb quiver under your lips. Then , when you have done this, run your lips down along the line of her nose, stopping at odd times to purse them into a tiny kiss. When you reach the wrinkle of her nostrils, bury your lips deeply into the curve and kiss little niblets into first one and then the other. If her eyes still are closed, repeat the process.

Return to the lips

Never forget this important injunction, "Return to the lips," for they can never become satiated with love's ardent kisses. The little kisses that you have deposited on her eyes and her nose serve only to vary the Menu of Love. They are but spice to the course of love's banquet which should always be the "lip kiss."

Sunday, 14 September 2014

Take what you need

What do you think was on the piece of paper that was taken? I say Gratitude. What do you say?

Sunday poem, third stanza, third line

A contemplative poem on Sunday. Just like it should be.

Once upon a time flew this rambling Dutchman,
from his loose stool holding his eruptive abdomen.
That's Gross, my reader said with a frown,
at least now I know why your blog is brown. ...

Charlie Brown loves his unattainable red haired girl
got finally his act together and gave her a whirl
The red haired girl was startled and slapped his face
and said: "Next time I spank your ass, you nutcase!"

I have found a safe place to shield my nuts,

Finally I recovered and showed some guts:
I asked her if I could just comb her hair

Saturday, 13 September 2014


For a few months I have got a clue how a single mum must feel after her baby woke up at night and comes home after work and have to begin at a thousand chores waiting for her to do. I don't sleep very well and it doesn't matter if I.go to bed early or not, I wake up at around six in the morning and I can't sleep anymore. It's not the end of the world as we know it, but it's making me feel tired. Plus there are many things to be done. We are converting my daughters bedroom from a teenage girls room into an adult sleep/living room. Her stuff that belongs in closets that are not ready yet are all over our tiny little house.

Anyway on the bright side, my birthday is coming up: September 21st. I love it. I will be 55 this year. A twin year. my  5 will get a twin this year. Isn't that great? It only happens when you are born: 00, 11, 22, 33 and so on. Most people only get 6 or 7 of those special days in their life. Yesterday I heard from someone I knew once well, but lost track of him, his twin counter stopped at 4. Two kids 14 and 12. 
I heard he was diagnosed with cancer  a few months ago, but never knew. just read in some trash company newsletter he was gone.

Anyway I told you I look forward to my birthday. I was already looking if I could find the contour of my present somewhere, but my girls have hidden it well. They know me. I'm kid enough to go look if I can find my present somewhere just to guess what's in it.
I know.

A few nights sleep and I will be a twin. I hope I sleep a little better until that day.

Nobody whispers like Leonard Cohen

At my birthday Leonard Cohen will be 80 years old. And his new album came out this week. This number is free on Youtube. And the old man can't sing very well anymore. But nobody, nobody can whisper like mr. Cohen. 

I saw some people starving
There was murder, there was rape
Their villages were burning
They were trying to escape

I couldn’t meet their glances
I was staring at my shoes
It was acid, it was tragic
It was almost like the blues
It was almost like the blues

I have to die a little
between each murderous plot
and when I’m finished thinking
I have to die a lot

There’s torture, and there’s killing
and there’s all my bad reviews
The war, the children missing, lord
It’s almost like the blues
It’s almost like the blues

Though I let my heart get frozen
to keep away the rot
my father says I’m chosen
my mother says I’m not

I listened to their story
of the gypsies and the Jews
It was good, it wasn’t boring
It was almost like the blues
It was almost like the blues

There is no G-d in heaven
There is no hell below
So says the great professor
of all there is to know

But I’ve had the invitation
that a sinner can’t refuse
It’s almost like salvation
It’s almost like the blues
It’s almost like the blues

Close your eyes

Thank you Sir, I needed that after a poetry week

Friday, 12 September 2014

Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand

End of Neruda week: Review 100 Love Sonnets

Cien sonetos de amor / 100 love sonnets

by Pablo Neruda (1904-1973)
first published in 1959
translated in English by Stephen Tapscott
University of Texas Press, Austin, USA, 23rd paperback printing

The 100 sonnets is divided in the four parts of a day, but that doesn't mean there are an equal number of sonnets into each daily period. Morning contains 32 sonnets, Afternoon 21, Evening 35 and Night 12. If the parts of the day symbolize the stages of a relationship the sonnets have some points of departure, but it looks more like an artistic way to divide the 100 poems into readable pieces.

It is a romantic idea isn’t it, to write 100 love poems, sonnets, to your new loved one. The sonnets all have the same sonnet order, 4 lines, 4 lines, 3 lines, 3 lines, but Neruda wants to write about love instead of keeping the traditional rules of sonnet writing. And he did. It took me almost three months to read all sonnets. I read poetry slow. Poem by poem and not more then three of four a day. I have to use a dictionary to find the words I don’t know, in English of Spanish ( each poem is bi-lingual). I have to find out the way the poem should be read and I admire the beauty of the text.

I chose this week four poems from each of the daily periods and wrote a little about why I chose that particular one. It was hard to do. The book bursts of beauty and each page contains at least one overwhelming line. Like sonnet 34:

I wish the love and dignity of bees for your hands,
mixing and spreading their transparent brood
in the earth, they cultivate even my heart,

so that I am like a scorched rock
that suddenly sings when you are near, because it drinks
the water you carry from the forest, in your voice.

That’s what I mean. Neruda carries his love from his heart in his poems. And he should have stayed far away from politics and just write about love. Because Neruda writes so breathtaking about love you cannot do anything else but fall in love with his poetry.

The first book of the Goodreads Galore Challenge is read. I chose Pablo Neruda because the first book and the last book of my reading list should be about love.

Because all things begin and end with love.

Thursday, 11 September 2014

Spanking challenge

Neruda week: Night

Night, sonnet LXXXIX (89)

When I die, I want your hands on my eyes:
I want the light and wheat of your beloved hands
to pass their freshness over me once more:
I want to feel the softness that changed my destiny.

I want you to live while I wait for you, asleep.
I want your ears still to hear the wind, I  want you 
to sniff the sea’s aroma that we loved together,
to continue to walk on the sand we walk on.

I want what I love to continue to live,
and you whom I love and sang above everything else
to continue to flourish, full flowered:

so that you can reach everything my love directs to you,
so that my shadow can travel along in your hair,
so that everything can learn the reason for my song.

OK, what do I like about this poem?

The simplicity of the poem: it is really only one sentence: When I die I want you to be happy so (3x) everyone will understand why I love you. Why I love your body (hands, eyes, ears, hair).

La suavidad can be translated as the softness, but is also means the gentleness, the kindness. I want to sentir – feel – the gentleness that changed my destiny. How many people can say that, you meet some one, you fall in love and it not changes your life and your house and your name sometimes, but she changed his destiny in life. Or, even more poetic, she became his destiny in life. Beautiful, isn’t it?

I also love the tenderness of the first line: When I die, I want your hands on my eyes: I want the light and wheat of your beloved hands to pass their freshness over me once more: I want to feel the softness that changed my destiny. I want your hands on my eyes. To feel you one last time. And then I want you to continue your life to the fullest. Because the more pleasure you will have, the more excitement you’ll experience, the more love you will give after I’m gone, the greater tribute it will be to our love. Because I have found you first, love and our memories are a continuation of that what we once had. 

Neruda week: Matilde Urrutia

This is a short video about the the three wives of Pablo Neruda. Very good short intro!

Pablo Neruda dedicated his 100 Love Sonnets to Mathilde Urrutia. But who was she?
Matilde Urrutia was a singer before she took up with Neruda. The pair met in 1946. Neruda and his second wife, Delia, were attending a concert in Santiago; Matilde caught his eye immediately with her fiery red hair. We don’t generally think of someone who can love so deeply and write about it so beautifully as being a bit of a scoundrel, but Neruda was; he hired her in 1949 to be his nurse while they began their illicit affair under Delia’s nose. He and Matilde eventually had a home together and had been “symbolically” married while Delia was still . . . well, I was going to say “actually” married to Neruda, but from what I understand, their marriage wasn’t completely legally recognized because of Neruda’s first wife. This wasn’t the first time Neruda had taken a new lover while still married, it seems.

The Pablo Neruda Foundation’s website notes, in 1951:

Matilde Urrutia arrived in Paris. Neruda was in the GDR, participating in the Third World Youth Festival, at which Matilda had also been invited to sing. They met in Berlin. In her memoirs, she wrote, “that taste of sin, to be lying, to hide, to conceal, was the biggest incentive for our love, those furtive glances… the complicity of every minute was something that grew the desire to be together, to touch, and this desire is devouring us, drags us to the conviction that we cannot live separately…”

Delia left Neruda permanently in 1955; Matilde transformed from a mistress living in the shadows to Neruda’s strong and loving wife. She left everything in her life to be with Neruda.

A painting of Matilde that hangs in their home, La Chascona, in Santiago. It portrays two faces–the public singer and the woman that Neruda privately loved. In her hair, Neruda’s profile is hidden to signify their secret relationship.

One side of her face is the public face of people who knew her as a singer, the other side Neruda knew her as a lover. In the hair is the face of Pablo Neruda hidden

Matilde was Neruda’s last wife and fiercest protector. She forgave him his trespasses, and when she couldn’t, she sought only small revenges; instead of leaving him when he had an affair with her niece, she voted against his candidate in a major political election. (Granted, with Neruda’s political focus, voting against him wouldn’t have been “small.”) When he passed in 1973, she stayed with his body, weeping, unable to leave him. When she slept, she clung to him still.

After his death, Matilde took up the mantle of Neruda’s political causes. She suffered for this; the political climate in Chile at the time was stormy enough for many to believe that Neruda had been murdered by political enemies. In her will, she directed their estate to create the Pablo Neruda Foundation, primarily dedicated to maintaining his legacy.

Sources: “Lover and guardian: Matilde Urrutia”
               Biography Mathilde Urrutia

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

The aim is not skinny

Wednesday, my Weight Watchers Weighing Day. Lost 2,4 kilos this week. Don´t understand it at all. Ate this week fat pancakes in a pancake house. Anyway, that brings my weight to 95,8 kilo and I begun with 101,6. 

I´m pleased.

Enjoy The Thrills of Kissing

Enjoy the thrills of kissing, but don't be in a hurry! I As in all matters pertaining to love, don't hurry the process of kissing. A kiss is too rapturous a thing to be enjoyed for the moment and the moment only. Linger longer on her lips than you have ever lingered before. Forget time. Forget everything but the kiss in which you are in the midst of. Don't be like that bashful young
lover who, after a sweet, long kiss, drew his lips away from the lips of his charmer.
Immediately, She burst out into tears.

"What's the matter?" he asked solicitously.

"You don't love me I" she said between sobs.

"But I do!"

"Then why did you draw your lips away?"

"I couldn't breathe," he said naively.

Breathe? Who wants to breathe, who even wants to think of breathing in the middle of an impassioned kiss? Breathe through your nose if you have to breathe. But kiss, keep on kissing, as long as there! Is one minim of breath in you. Kiss, as Byron said we should kiss, with the "long, long kiss of youth and love."

Recently, in Chicago, there was held a marathon kissing contest to determine Which couple could hold their kiss the longest without being forced to separate. One pair was able to hold their kiss for fifteen hours. Think of that! Fifteen hours. And yet the naive lad stopped kissing because be couldn't breathe.


For instance, there can be kisses exchanged merely in intense glances. A sort of "spiritual kiss." can pass between the adoring eyes of a pair of lovers. The hot blooded Latin races know the power of such kisses. Their fiery temperaments are ever questing for new delights, for variations, for delightful and artful ways of adding to the pleasure of love.

Next week Monday: The French kiss

Neruda week: Evening

Evening, sonnet LXV (65)

Mathilde, where are you? Down there I noticed,
under my necktie and just above the heart,
a certain pang of grief between the ribs,
you were gone that quickly.

I needed the light of your energy,
I looked around, devouring hope.
I watched the void without you that is like a house,
nothing left but tragic windows.

Out of sheer taciturnity the ceiling listens
to the fall of the ancient leafless rain,
to feathers, to whatever the night imprisoned:

so I wait for you like a lonely house
till you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache.

You are gone and I miss you. And when I see you you will live in me. Again. Till you will see me again and live in me. So until I see you again there is no life for me. You live in me. Not in my house, but in me, inside, just above the heart. And until then the windows of my soul ache. It hurts even reading it. In my lonely house, filled with sheer taciturnity, my windows ache till you see me again. That is why I love this poet so much. “You are gone and I miss you” can be this beautiful. You just need a poet.

Whatever the night imprisoned. All things that are dark and motionless because they can’t get away, feathers, leaves and the remains of a predators lethal attack in the hours of darkness. The ancient leafless rain falls on whatever the night imprisoned. 

It took me a long time to read all 100 sonnets because if I a read a sonnet like this, I keep on thinking about it. Again and again. Can you walk away from the computer and not think about: so I wait for you like a lonely house till you will see me again and live in me? Just do something else and shake it off? 

Neruda week: How to read a book of poetry

 Here are a few basic tips:

Read the poem slowly out loud. Most adolescents speak rapidly, and a nervous reader will tend to do the same in order to get the reading over with. Reading a poem slowly is the best way to ensure that the poem will be read clearly and understood. Learning to read a poem slowly will underscore the importance in poetry of each and every word. A poem cannot be read too slowly, and a good way for a reader to set an easy pace is to pause for a few seconds between the title and the poem's first line.

Read in a normal, relaxed tone of voice. It is not necessary to give any of these poems a dramatic reading as if from a stage. The poems selected are mostly written in a natural, colloquial style and should be read that way. Let the words of the poem do the work. Just speak clearly and slowly.

Obviously, poems come in lines, but pausing at the end of every line will create a choppy effect and interrupt the flow of the poem's sense. Readers should pause only where there is punctuation, just as you would when reading prose, only more slowly.

Use a dictionary to look up unfamiliar words and hard-to-pronounce words. To read with conviction, a reader needs to know at least the dictionary sense of every word. It should be emphasized that learning to read a poem out loud is a way of coming to a full understanding of that poem, perhaps a better way than writing a paper on the subject.

Tuesday, 9 September 2014

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open

Neruda week: Afternoon

Afternoon, sonnet XLIV (44)

You must know that I do not love and that I love you,
because everything alive has its two sides;
a word is one wing of the silence,
fire has its cold half.

I love you in order to begin to love you
to start infinity again
and never to stop loving you:
that is why I do not love you yet.

I love you, and I do not love you, as if I held
keys in my hand: a future of joy – 
a wretched, muddled fate –

My love has two lives, in order to love you:
that is why I love you when I do not love you,
and also why I love you when I do.

Now this is a confusing poem. And you have to read it slowly, and over again. And again. And suddenly it becomes clear to you, crystal clear, that the poet is as confused about his love as you are. He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me….
I love her, I do not, I love her, I do not…
It’s Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf. Nerduda died before the song, but: do you love me forever, what’s it gonna be boy, yes or, or, or? In order to start infinity again and never to stop loving you: that is why I do not love you yet. Poetry isn’t dull, it’s exciting as life itself. Do I really love her for all times? Now this was Neruda’s third marriage so forever…? He knew the limits of forever. 
And yet, I love you when I do not love you and I love you when I do. Can’t help it. Even when I don’t want to, I still love you. 

My love has two lives, in order to love you: that is why I love you when I do not love you, and also why I love you when I do. That makes me quiet.

Neruda week: What is a sonnet?

Here are the rules for writing a sonnet:

It must consist of 14 lines.

It must be written in iambic pentameter (duh-DUH-duh-DUH-duh-DUH-duh-DUH-duh-DUH).

It must be written in one of various standard rhyme schemes.

If you're writing the most familiar kind of sonnet, the Shakespearean, the rhyme scheme is this:





Every A rhymes with every A, every B rhymes with every B, and so forth. You'll notice this type of sonnet consists of three quatrains (that is, four consecutive lines of verse that make up a stanza or division of lines in a poem) and one couplet (two consecutive rhyming lines of verse).

Ah, but there's more to a sonnet than just the structure of it. A sonnet is also an argument — it builds up a certain way. And how it builds up is related to its metaphors and how it moves from one metaphor to the next. In a Shakespearean sonnet, the argument builds up like this:

First quatrain: An exposition of the main theme and main metaphor.

Second quatrain: Theme and metaphor extended or complicated; often, some imaginative example is given.

Third quatrain: Peripeteia (a twist or conflict), often introduced by a "but" (very often leading off the ninth line).

Couplet: Summarizes and leaves the reader with a new, concluding image.

One of Shakespeare's best-known sonnets, Sonnet 18, follows this pattern:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest,
Nor shall death brag thou wanderest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest.

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

The argument of Sonnet 18 goes like this:

First quatrain: Shakespeare establishes the theme of comparing "thou" (or "you") to a summer's day, and why to do so is a bad idea. The metaphor is made by comparing his beloved to summer itself.

Second quatrain: Shakespeare extends the theme, explaining why even the sun, supposed to be so great, gets obscured sometimes, and why everything that's beautiful decays from beauty sooner or later. He has shifted the metaphor: In the first quatrain, it was "summer" in general, and now he's comparing the sun and "every fair," every beautiful thing, to his beloved.

Third quatrain: Here the argument takes a big left turn with the familiar "But." Shakespeare says that the main reason he won't compare his beloved to summer is that summer dies — but she won't. He refers to the first two quatrains — her "eternal summer" won't fade, and she won't "lose possession" of the "fair" (the beauty) she possesses. So he keeps the metaphors going, but in a different direction.

And for good measure, he throws in a negative version of all the sunshine in this poem — the "shade" of death, which, evidently, his beloved won't have to worry about.

Couplet: How is his beloved going to escape death? In Shakespeare's poetry, which will keep her alive as long as people breathe or see. This bold statement gives closure to the whole argument — it's a surprise.

And so far, Shakespeare's sonnet has done what he promised it would! See how tightly this sonnet is written, how complex yet well organized it is? Try writing a sonnet of your own.

Poets are attracted by the grace, concentration, and, yes, the sheer difficulty of sonnets. You may never write another sonnet in your life, but this exercise is more than just busywork. It does all the following:

Shows you how much you can pack into a short form.

Gives you practice with rhyme, meter, structure, metaphor, and argument.

Connects you with one of the oldest traditions in English poetry — one still vital today.

Source: Writing sonnets for dummies
More background: Poets.org

Monday, 8 September 2014

Dutch letter

Let's have a small compensation for all those who do not love the poetry of Neruda, but do appriciate a bit of humor:

Deze brief is in het Nederlands. Dat betekent dat niemand hem kan lezen. Tenzij je natuurlijk in Nederland woont. Of in de Overzeese gebiedsdelen. Of dat je ooit Nederlands hebt geleerd voor welke vreemde reden dan ook.

"Geachte heer, ik moet u danken
Voor 't postpakket dat ik ontving.
Maar u vergeeft mij ongetwijfeld
Een zekere teleurstelling

Toen ik de hand vroeg van uw dochter,
Die ik hartstochtelijk bemin,
Deed ik zulks niet in letterlijke,
Doch overdrachtelijke zin."

Daan Zonderland

A Dutch letter by a Dutch poet who made many very funny poems. It is difficult to translate, but I do get an A for trying:

Dear Sir, I say many thanks to thee
for the parcel you so kindly sent to me
but I'm sure you will forgive me
to be crestfallen slightly

When I asked for your daughters hand
whom I love like the sea loves the sand
I meant this figuratively
and certainly not literally.

Neruda week: Morning

Morning, sonnet VIII (8)

If your eyes were not the color of the moon,
of a day full of clay, and work, and fire,
if even held-in you did not move in agile grace like the air,
if you were not an amber week,

not the yellow moment
when autumn climbs up through the vines;
if you were not that bread the fragrant moon
kneads, sprinkling its flour across the sky,

oh, my dearest, I could not love you so!
But when I hold you I hold everything that is – 
sand, time, the tree of the rain,

everything is alive so that I can be alive:
without moving I can see it all:
in your life I see everything that lives.

OK, in poetry punctuation marks are of vital importance to understand a poem. Let’s try:

sentence 1: If your eyes were not the color of the moon, of a day full of clay, and work, and fire, if even held-in you did not move in agile grace like the air, 
if you were not an amber week, not the yellow moment when autumn climbs up through the vines; if you were not that bread the fragrant moon kneads, sprinkling its flour across the sky,

oh, my dearest, I could not love you so!

sentence 2: But when I hold you I hold everything that is – sand, time, the tree of the rain, everything is alive so that I can be alive: without moving I can see it all: in your life I see everything that lives.

9 lines, two sentences. And I don’t know about you but when I read the first line out loud at the end I speak faster and faster, until the comma after sky, pause oh small pause my dearest small pause I could not love you so!

OK, the rapper summery: If you were not so wonderful, I could not love you so much, but when I hold you I feel great. (Language has lost some of it’s richness over the years. Neruda wrote this 54 years ago in the year I was born). 

OK, why is this poem so beautiful? If the fragrant moon would not kneads the bread, sprinkling its flour across the sky, I could not love you so much. The stars are the sprinkled spots of flour in the sky and the moon is one lump of kneaded bread. And yet is looks sweet and peaceful in the sky, and so do the stars. And if I could not see all that beauty, I could not see you. 

But when you are not a figment of my imagination, when I hold you; I land on earth, I see the sand, the rain and I feel alive. And through your eyes, because of the things you do, you tell, you complain, you admire, because of that I truly can see how beautiful life is.

And if you can write about the couloring of the leaves as: when autumn climbs up through the vines, ah, you have made my day!

Neruda week: Pablo Neruda biography

Who was Pablo Neruda?

Pablo Neruda was born in Parral, Chile, on July 12, 1904, He stirred controversy with his affiliation with the Communist Party and his outspoken support of Joseph Stalin, Fulgencio Batista and Fidel Castro, but his poetic mastery was never in doubt, and for it he was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1971.

Early Life

Pablo Neruda was born Ricardo Eliecer Neftalí Reyes Basoalto in the Chilean town of Parral in 1904. His father worked for the railroad, and his mother was a teacher (she died shortly after his birth). At age 13, he began his literary career as a contributor to the daily La Mañana, where he published his first articles and poems. In 1920, he contributed to the literary journal Selva Austral under the pen name Pablo Neruda, which he assumed in honor of Czech poet Jan Neruda.

Growing Popularity

Some of his early poems are found in his first book, Crepusculario (Book of Twilight), published in 1923, and one of his most renowned works, Veinte poemas de amor y una canción desesperada (Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair), was published the following year. Twenty Love Poems made Neruda a celebrity, and he thereafter devoted himself to his poetry.

Diplomatic Career

In 1927, Neruda began his long diplomatic career (in the Latin American tradition of honoring poets with diplomatic posts), and he moved frequently around the world. In 1935, the Spanish Civil War began, and Neruda chronicled the atrocities, including the execution of his friend Federico García Lorca, in his España en el corazón (Spain in Our Hearts).

Over the next 10 years, Neruda would leave and return to Chile several times. Along the way, he was named Chile's consul to Mexico and won election to the Chilean Senate. He would also begin to attract controversy, first with his praise of Joseph Stalin (in poems such as "Canto a Stalingrado" and "Nuevo canto de amor a Stalingrado") and later for his poetry honoring Fulgencio Batista ("Saludo a Batista") and Fidel Castro.

Always left-leaning, Neruda joined the Communist Party of Chile in 1945, but by 1948 the Communist Party was under siege, and Neruda fled the country with his family. In 1952, the Chilean government withdrew its order to seize leftist writers and political figures, and Neruda returned to Chile once again.

Sunday, 7 September 2014

Result Quattuordecim challenge number 1

Results Quattuordecim challenge number 1

She wanted to try anyway, my beloved told me last Friday and this morning we had the chance to do dare number 1. Not to make sounds and not to move for 52 minutes. She lasted 33 minutes. A brave attempt to try and I'm proud of her she did try.

Anyway the second failed attempt: 2 P-points = turn in your own bank card  for two weeks.

Results until today:
2 dares done, 2 Q points
2 dares failed, 2 P-points

Quiet people

Sunday poem, third stanza, second line

A contemplative poem on Sunday. Just like it should be.

Once upon a time flew this rambling Dutchman,
from his loose stool holding his eruptive abdomen.
That's Gross, my reader said with a frown,
at least now I know why your blog is brown. ...

Charlie Brown loves his unattainable red haired girl
got finally his act together and gave her a whirl
The red haired girl was startled and slapped his face
and said: "Next time I spank your ass, you nutcase!"

I have found a safe place to shield my nuts,
Finally I recovered and showed some guts:

Saturday, 6 September 2014

Young adult

Speaking from experience, this is the advice I would give you..


Listen to your parents. As clichéd as that sounds, if you’re lucky enough to have parents that have your best interest at heart, listen to them. Our parents only want the best for us. Parents are the only people who have our back 100%. Do you know how protected we are? No matter how much we fuck up, they WILL always will there. However, it’s important to remind your parents that you’re an individual who needs to make their own mistakes and have their own experiences without being judged. Remind them that they were teenagers once. They often forget this lol and yes they can be annoying as fuck sometimes too, but unfortunately, there are no rule books to parenting and one day, we will be an “awkward out of the loop” annoying parent who just wants to love and protect our children, so give them a break sometimes. Our parents are growing old, keep them close. Remember some people don’t have parents. Appreciate them and make them proud, it’s vital.


Be kind to everyone you have an encounter with, no matter how short or long it is. It’s not cool being a douche or a bully, that’s a lonely path, people will eventually leave you and this reputation will stick with you forever. People don’t forget how you make them feel and the world is too small. So be kind to everyone. Hold on tightly to your old friends, even if you end up going to different high schools and colleges and don’t ditch old friends for new friends, learn to balance them both. Personally, I find it strange if someone doesn't have one long term friend, I think it says a lot about their character. There really isn't anything better than having good friends and also being a good friend, it honestly makes life worth living. Be the type of friend you would want to have.


Hmm, I hated school. I made a lot of friends and had an endless amount of fun and achieved great grades but the schooling system is beyond fucked. IMO, if you don’t fit into a certain criteria, they essentially write you off and this can damage a person’s self-esteem, confidence and can completely shatter their potential. They judge a fish by how it can climb a tree. School rarely teach you how to swim against the waves and start your own businesses or how to be an entrepreneur, they teach you how to mold into society and expect us to make life time decisions at an age where we’re not even responsible enough to buy alcohol LOL. Oh and let’s not forget the lies they brainwash us with in history class. Learning is fun so why does it seem like every child dislikes going to school? The only advice I can give to you about school is to study hard and get good grades, because it is important. But it’s imperative to educate yourself OUTSIDE of school.


A good teacher = a gift from god, and that’s probably why they’re so rare. They see your potential and use their influence to help you blossom. They can provide relentless support and they feed your self-esteem and confidence organically. They’re a positive light in your life and know how to balance this with the correct form of discipline to keep you in check. Shout out to Mrs Rebecca Tregear - SHS, she made me feel like I could accomplish anything and that’s what every child/teenager needs, someone outside of their parents, who believes in them.
A bad teacher will haunt you for the rest of your life if you allow them too. I don’t really need to write much about bad teachers. If you happen to have a teacher who dislikes you, don’t pay them too much mind.  “My teacher told me that I was a piece of shit. Seen her the other day driving a piece of shit”


Save. Save. Save. Spend 10-25% of everything you earn and save the rest. Poor money management will never help you gain financial freedom and bad habits are picked up from early. Don’t be the person that is always broke and in bad circumstances, that person is annoying as hell and eventually people will get tired of you. It also shows a lack of self-control. Think ahead, control your money, and don’t let your money control you. Understand that money is man-made and the good things in life are ALWAYS FREE. What’s money to a man with bad health and no cure?. Right now you have something, one of the richest men in the world doesn't, and that’s life - R.I.P Steve Jobs. Don’t let the media and music make you believe that life is materialistic. You will live an empty life trying to impress people who don’t even like you. Dream big and do it for the love, never for money.
Love: You will fall in love and you will have many pointless relationships. You might even get cheated on too. You will learn something from every experience. You will never experience the same love twice. Don’t expect too much from people right now, we’re young LOL and commitment isn't on everyone’s list. Don’t put too much focus onto being in a relationship either, relationships are hard work!. Let life flow. The right person will cross your path.


You will NEVER forget how you lost your virginity so don’t rush this. We live in a sexualized society and I know the pressure must be huge, but only do what you are comfortable doing. If you’re still a virgin, if you've had sex once or twice, in a committed relationship or turning the f*ck up sleeping with everybody, that’s your decision- Judge no one, mind your business, stay safe and have fun. Don’t confuse sex with love and be aware of those who are trying to take advantage of you. If you've had sex without consent, speak to someone, do not let ANYONE get away with violating your body.  

Peer Pressure: 

Listen to your intuition/ your demi god. If you don’t want to do something don’t do it. Real friends will laugh it off, but they will never force you into something or make you feel bad for not participating.


Watch these pictures (WARNING: Shocking)
WATCH: The House I live in – Documentary about Americans Failed Drug War.
EDUCATE yourself about the real war on drugs. Educate yourself and understand how our society works before you judge people. People turn to hard drugs to escape the realities of life. This has never appealed to me and never will. If you know anyone that has a drug problem, help them.

I found these on: The Good Vibe and wanted to share them, because it is so important to talk to young people. Our future.

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