Sunday, 31 August 2014

10 Things Subs Need From You But Won’t Say Out Loud

1. Please touch us

Cuddle us, spoon us, grab the small of our backs. Kiss our foreheads and make us feel small. We crave your hands all over us. We love them no matter where they happen to land—be that on our asses or up our skirts.
Just. Touch. Us. It reminds us that we’re yours.

2. Take pride in us

Relish in the fact that we’re yours—that we belong to you and no one else. Smile when we enter the room because you know we’re walking toward you. It lets us know you care. It makes us want to be better for you.

3. Let us cry

When we are sad or angry, or pissed the hell off. When we drink too much…especially when we drink too much, let us cry our eyes out. Let us be messes, with mascara running down our cheeks and pints of ice cream in our hands. Let us be okay with not being okay once in a while. This one requires no action from you, just that you be okay with it when it happens.

4. Forgive

Despite how hard we try, we will make mistakes. We will fuck things up, say things wrong, do things crazy, and when that happens we need you to forgive us. We’re not talking immediate forgiveness, or that a price won’t often be paid for it, but forgiveness that comes eventually. We need to know that the slate has been wiped clean, all trespasses have been forgiven…and when it happens, don’t forget to let us know. See number 5.

5. Communicate… often!

We need this.. If we don’t discuss something, it will fester in our brains forever, eventually driving us crazy. A three minute conversation could ease hours of worry for us once an uneasy feeling sets in. If that can be prevented with a few sentences, please take the time to speak them. Honestly, like two seconds of your time could stop our heads from exploding….and you don’t want to clean up that mess, do you?

6. We want you to make us feel pretty

Not that you don’t make us feel super sexy pretty darn often, but once in a while, it’s good to actually hear. Tell us our ass looks great in our yoga pants, that our hair looks especially shiny today. Tell us you like our new boots. Notice something small and compliment us about it, and our hearts will swell for days. Compliments let us know what it’s like to look through your eyes. Those are glimpses of the world we don’t often get to see.

7. It’s the little things

Some of these are sounding cliche, but are just so fucking true. Sure, your big gestures of grandeur are admired, but it is often the small things that get our cheeks turning red. Leave a note on the mirror in the morning telling us to have a great day. Sit next to us during a movie you have no desire to see. Take the dog out in the morning so we can sleep in for an extra 10 minutes, remember what ice cream we prefer to eat when we cry. If you do these things, we’re yours for life.

8. Remember things

Speaking of little things, try to remember them. Things like how we take our coffee and the name of that bitchy girl who sits next to us at work. Remember anything. Three weeks from now, bust out some silly story we told you over dinner one evening in great detail. Remember something we’d never expect you to store into your internal drive. Remember our first concert together, and our best friend from kindergarten’s name. The more obscure the better.

9. Deal with us

When we’re singing in the car. When we drink too much wine. When we completely melt down. Deal with our pasts, and when we don’t feel pretty. Deal with our stretch marks and insecurities, our early bedtimes and exhaustion. Deal with our mood, and how we load the dishwasher the wrong way. These things silently tell us that you’ll be by our sides regardless of how nerdy, silly or utterly hopeless we can get.

Finally, the most important thing we need from you that we’ll never say out loud:

10. Be the most stable thing in our lives

Be stronger than us. Be the one person in our world that won’t turn on us or walk away. When life becomes scary and confusing, and we just need something solid to hold onto, please be our anchor. It’s because of you that our awful days are easier to get through. Don’t be perfect. Just be there. It’s the only real requirement on this list.

(source - Fetlife: ErikaUnderstood)

Sunday poem, third stanza, first line

A contemplative poem on Sunday. Just like it should be.

Once upon a time flew this rambling Dutchman,
from his loose stool holding his eruptive abdomen.
That's Gross, my reader said with a frown,
at least now I know why your blog is brown. ...

Charlie Brown loves his unattainable red haired girl
got finally his act together and gave her a whirl
The red haired girl was startled and slapped his face
and said: "Next time I spank your ass, you nutcase!"

I have found a safe place to shield my nuts,

Saturday, 30 August 2014

How to.. Spank

I had these what are they... manuals I think a long time ago. I lost them again, searched for it for a long time, and found them at last. Now I've got them again I want to share them with you. Most of you will have seen this before, but still.. they are great.

Danseurs, Ballerino or just... male ballet dancers.

Some just call them heroes, pioneers. You don't have to be gay to see a beautiful male body. But somehow I think my female readers will enjoy this post best.

Belgian dancer Sander Blommaert is an Artist of The Royal Ballet. He trained at The Royal Ballet Upper School and graduated into the Company in 2010.

Blommaert was born in Bruges and trained at the CD Dance Factory, the Royal Ballet School of Antwerp and The Royal Ballet Upper School. He was awarded the Ninette de Valois Award on graduating from the School. His performances while at the School included roles in Concerto and Toccata.

Since joining The Royal Ballet, Blommaert’s repertory has included Footman/Fish (Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland) and roles in Connectome, Voluntaries, Rhapsody, The Nutcracker, Les Patineurs, Manon, The Sleeping Beauty, Swan Lake, Romeo and Juliet, The Dream, The Prince of the Pagodas, La Sylphide and Requiem. He performed a role in Royal Ballet Soloist Valentino Zucchetti’s Trio Sonata for Draft Works 2011, and created the work Les Deux, comme un for Draft Works 2014. In summer 2012 he created a role in Hot House, part of One Big Stage with Gareth Malone and the Royal Opera House Learning and Participation Department.

OK, OK, Han. One for you as well.
Jeez, stop nagging.
But it is my blog.
Here have fun!
I will, thanks.
Pretty huh?

Friday, 29 August 2014

A woman chained to a rock

Andromeda had the misfortune to be the daughter of the vain Cassiopeia, wife of King Cepheus of Ethiopia. As a result of Cassiopeia's boast that she was as beautiful as the Nereids (sea nymphs), Poseidon (sea god) sent a great sea monster to ravage the coastline.

An oracle told the king that the only way to get rid of the sea monster was to surrender his virgin daughter Andromeda to the sea monster; so he did, much as happened in the Roman story of Cupid and Psyche. King Cepheus chained Andromeda to a rock in the sea where the hero saw her.

Rembrandts Andromeda

Perseus was still wearing the winged sandals of Hermes that he had used in the task of carefully decapitating Medusa, while watching what he was doing only through a mirror. He asked what had happened to Andromeda, then when he heard, he promptly offered to rescue her by killing the sea monster, but on condition that her parents give her to him in marriage. With her safety uppermost in their minds, they instantly agreed.

And so Perseus slew the monster, unchained the princess and brought Andromeda back to her much relieved parents.

Andromeda inspired many artists. One of the most famous paintings is the one above of Rembrandt van Rijn.

Thursday, 28 August 2014

The Ribbon Tie

Another great tie, the ribbon tie. These guys use silk, but I prefer simple old bed sheet cut into long pieces like the one on the video. It doesn't mark the skin if used Safe and Sane. The knot looks complicated but it really isn't. Just try it. It's a great video from the Two Knotty Boys.

Wednesday, 27 August 2014


Wednesday. Weighing day. You know, Weight Watchers Wednesday Weighing day.
This week the scale went down with 1,2 and 3,3 kilo's have vanished into thin air. Strange that 1,2 kilo's is important when you are trying to lose weight. Not: Just over one kilo, no, no, no. 1,2 kilo Mr. van Meegeren. I earned a star. Really, I did.

Loose weight, feel great

This really makes my day

Every time when I'm not feeling happy, I look at this picture and my mood changes. I have never seen a picture that shows happiness so well. It reminds me of all those things I'm grateful for. 

There are pictures that makes you sad, and there are pictures that makes you full. Full of everything. 

This one does. 

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Jane Torvill and Christopher Dean

I saw Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean for the first time at the Olympics in Lillehammer, Norway in 1980. And I was a huge fan at that very moment. A fan without any reservations and the people around me thought, it's crazy Han again. I went to England only to buy their biography (no Internet, no Amazon in those days) and I've still got it.
They were my age more or less and maybe I was dreaming out loud how wonderful it would be to be so close to a woman as they evidently were. Two people to move as one. The intimacy between the skaters I marveled at that. They were my projection how love should look like, I guess.

Kept it all those years...

Like Torvill, Dean was dumped by his then dance partner who wanted to pursue London opportunities. And so, aged 16, Christopher Dean teamed up with 17 year old Jayne Torvill in 1975. Both from Nottingham and from working class backgrounds, their work ethic was intimidating. Torvill was supporting herself with a job as an insurance clerk and Dean was working as a police constable (and along with Jayne, studying ballet.) When their ice rink closed to the public at 11pm, they would start training, continuing until 3am. Dean was eventually taught how to operate the ice tractor so that the rink could be resurfaced before opening up to the public in the morning. One ice rink worker even had to turn up on Christmas Day just so they could keep to their training schedule. And the ice rink was far from high tech. Both remember the many rats with which they used to share their training area .But three years after meeting, they won the British Championships.

They then won 5th place in the 1980 New York Winter Olympics but the pair were only able to give up their jobs after a controversial Nottingham City Council grant. Nottingham born, and now backed, the couple started to attract national media attention. In 1981, after a backstage meeting, they acquired their own acting mentor in ‘Some Mothers Do Ave Em’ and later ‘Phantom of the Opera’ star, Michael Crawford. He’s credited with helping them win the world championships in 1983 with their circus inspired ‘Barnum’ piece.
Their relentless drive paid off and in 1984 they became world famous for their free programme performance of Maurice Ravel’s Boléro. 24 million people in the UK applauded as the Olympic judges at Sarajevo awarded their steamy synchronicity perfect scores, appropriately enough, on Valentine’s night.

24 million people in the UK and at least one Dutchman. I knew their routine so well, I still can see the little faults in the program.

Everybody expected that they would marry someday, but they never became a romantic act off the ice. Dean got married and divorced twice, Torvill married a sound engineer and had a son and a daughter.

After the Olympics they went to get the big money in ice shows and I lost track of Torvill an Dean and ice skating as well.

Looking back at the routine sure does bring back memories.

Monday, 25 August 2014

How to kiss with your eyes

In kissing a girl whose experience with osculation is limited, it is a good thing to work up to the kissing of the lips. Only an arrant fool seizes hold of such a girl, when they are comfortably seated on the sofa, and suddenly shoves his face into her's and smacks her lips'. Naturally, the first thing he should do is to arrange it so that the girl is seated against the arm of the sofa while he is seated at her side.

What are you going to do?

The Eyelash Kiss 

A variation of this eye kiss can be practiced as a tender diversion. After an intense period of "soul or "vacuum kissing" has been indulged in and both lovers lie back tiredly, looking into each other's eyes , the-young man should lean over the face of the girl. But, instead of implanting his lips on hers, he should bring his cheek into direct contact with her cheek again. Then, when this is done, he should lower his eyelash so that they enmesh with the eyelash of his partner. This, of course, is done one eye at a time. And when the enmeshing process is complete, each should gently raise and lower his or her eyelids. The contact of the hair of the eyelash is one that is almost indescribable. Suffice it to say, it is a charming bypath in the meadows of love that is pleasant, provocative and yet not exhausting.

Sunday, 24 August 2014

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one

Sunday poem, second stanza, fourth line

A contemplative poem on Sunday. Just like it should be.

Once upon a time flew this rambling Dutchman,
from his loose stool holding his eruptive abdomen.
That's Gross, my reader said with a frown,
at least now I know why your blog is brown. ...

Charlie Brown loves his unattainable red haired girl
got finally his act together and gave her a whirl
The red haired girl was startled and slapped his face
and said: "Next time I spank your ass, you nutcase!"

Next line, Next week.

Saturday, 23 August 2014

The eagle has landed

It is difficult to have a vanilla relationship where both partners are content, it is a real challenge for spanking and BDSM couples. I hope our experience can help you, if only a little bit...

Parable of the eagle

The son of a farmer was wandering in the mountains and discovered an eagles nest with an egg in it. He took the egg with him to the farm and laid it in a nest full of chicken eggs. After that he forgot the egg and the chicken bred the eggs. The young eagle thought the chicken was his mother and he has her chick. The eagle grew up and behaved like a chicken. He ate worms and insects, cackled and like the other chickens could only lift a only a few feet off the ground. He lived his life as a chicken and became very old. And one day he looked up in the sky and saw this beautiful gracious bird flying in the sky. And he said to the chicken, what is that? Oh, that is an eagle; the king of the sky. And he went on picking seeds from the ground.

Comfort Zone

If you want to change and not be chicken all your life there is no other way than to step out of the comfort zone of your marriage, of any other kind of relationship you're in. There is a reason why they call it the comfort zone, it is where you both feel comfortable. Settled down in a pleasurable routine. And if something is itching in that zone, it really is difficult to talk about. It is not urgent, it is not important so you talk about it tomorrow. You postpone it. Tomorrow you will talk with him about it. You don’t really want to talk about it. It reminds you of the days you were dating. Will he like me afterwards even after he finds out how the ‘real’ me is like? What if? A thousand “What if’s” and not a thousand answers to all of those scenarios. But the itch doesn't go away, it is nagging you every day.

It is a really difficult if sex is involved. How many times do you talk about sex? I bet it is not very often. OK, it was different when you were dating. Raging hormones are more or less manageable now. The Dutch proverb "To cackle a lot doesn't produce eggs" applies maybe to this blog, but not to your sexlife.

All of this doesn't only apply to bringing spanking or BDSM in your relationship, it also very much applies to establish a kind balance in your needs and his after that. To open up and bring the subject of submission on the table is one thing, to be both satisfied with the result of that, takes a lot of communication.


Misconception one: The dominant knows all. He is " the master" right? And when in doubt Master knows everything. And he decides without consulting what is best. Because consulting may be a sign of weakness, you know? Let me tell you from own experience: Master knows zilch. Nada. Nothing. About the way a woman thinks. And certainly not about how you think, because not two people are alike.

Misconception two: He should understand by now that I'm not happy about the current situation. He doesn't know. Really he hasn't got a clue. He is a man. How many men do you know who understand why their wifes act the way they do? I don't know any. Woman are a mystery. Really, there the laws of normal logic doesn't apply to all of you. So the only thing he will understand is plain English (or plain Dutch, Spanish, Norwegian, Chinese, Arabic or whatever your mother tongue is). Say what you would like to try. Say out loud what you feel. Say what your boundaries are. SAFE WORD.

Misconception three: I am the only one that is not completely happy about this, because he doesn't talk about it either, and he seems happy. To a guy it is just as hard as for a woman to talk about secret desires, fantasies. Maybe even more so. Maybe not, maybe he is easier to satisfied with what he has got.

Making the first move

It is like a game. All the pieces are on the board, but who makes the next move? Maybe he does. In a few years. Maybe you are satisfied with being a chicken. Nothing wrong with that if you are happy. But if you want to fly like an eagle someday YOU are the one that should take the initiative. If you want to try bondage, you should say so. You should buy a book with rope knots. You should tell him where to look on the internet to find the "how to" videos (chances are he already knows).You tell him. Not ask him. Tell him whatever your fantasy is.

What have you got to lose? He is your husband. You love him, he loves you. It is the safest environment to experiment you could possibly have. Trust your man with your fantasy. All this talk of topping from the bottom and how bad that is, is all macho bullshit. If you open up, there is a fair chance he will as well. You communicate better, you are happier and that is what it is all about, isn't it? Making each other happy.

For happiness is flying like an eagle.

Friday, 22 August 2014

Blow job

Barbie and Ken. Barbie is blown away. Sorry haven't got better jokes.
I spy something with my little eye
and the colour of it is ...

Ken is very cold

Thursday, 21 August 2014

Places to leave love notes

No matter how short or long you are married it is a thoughtful thing to do to leave a love letter or just a simple "I love you more than anything" to your spouse (or spouse to be). So to stir your imagination here are some places you could leave a little note:

  1. In your partners drawer
  2. Inside your partners towel
  3. Taped at the inside of your front door
  4. Inside her shoe
  5. Inside the microwave
  6. Laminated in the bubble bath
  7. In her bag or wallet
  8. Under the sheets of the bed
  9. Taped to her make-up mirror
  10. A disproportional letter at the outside window
  11. Any place she doesn't expect to find it
Love a verb. Work at it daily.

The Blacksmith

Beware girls for the handsome guys, not all can be trusted, Here are three different versions of a song that is very dear to me: The Blacksmith.

Loreena McKennit, if you don't know her, get acquainted. She has a voice like an angel.

Traditional Folk Music, sung by a man. It is very different, but still very good

Ah, my favorite band at last. No band has ever since played like Flairck. And no band ever will.


A blacksmith courted me
Nine months and better
He fairly won my heart
Wrote me a letter
With his hammer in his hand
He looked quite clever
And if I was with my love
I'd live forever.

But where is my love gone
With his cheeks like roses
And his good black billycock on
Decked round with primroses
I'm afraid the scorching sun
Will shine and burn his beauty
And if I was with my love
I'd do my duty.

Strange news is come to town
Strange news is carried
Strange news flies up and down
That my love is married.
I wish them both much joy
Though they can't bear me
And may God reward him well
For the slighting of me.

Don't you remember when
You lay beside me
And you said you'd marry me
And not deny me
If I said I'd marry you
It was only for to try you
So bring your witness love
And I'll not deny you.

No witness have I none
Save God Almighty
And may he reward you well
For the slighting of me.

Her lips grew pale and wan
It made a poor heart tremble
To think she loved a one
And he proved deceitful.

A blacksmith courted me
Nine months and better
He fairly won my heart
Wrote me a letter
With his hammer in his hand
He looked quite clever
And if I was with my love
I'd live forever.

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

All that hunger, for this?

Yeah! I lost 0,6 kilo's this week. I was hungry all week but it did pay off: I lost no less than 0,6 kilo's. On the bright side I'm back at the good side of the 100 kilo frontier again. Well done, Han. Keep going pal, you can do it. It just a question of perseverance!
Are you a man or a mouse?
I eat like a mouse!
No, you don't eat like a pig anymore, there is a difference.
I can't see a glass of water anymore..
Oh come on, is the poor soul hungry?
Now you know what we are feeling when we are on a diet.
How long are you busy Han, two whole weeks? I don't know where you find that inner strength.

It is the moral support of the women that gets me through this.
Next weight day, Wednesday next week.

Unlike Vermeegeren

Johannes Vermeer was and is an inspiration to artists. Here are three "Vermeers" that are worth looking at again and again.

The woman in Blue

Woman with the pearl necklace

On the left is Tim Jenison. Tim Jenison is an inventor and software developer based in San Antonio, Texas who became obsessed with discovering the secret of 17th century Dutch artist Johannes Vermeer’s incredibly photographic paintings. He tried to prove that Vermeer used the Camera Obscura in this painting: The music lesson. He worked six years to prove his point.  He travelled to London to consult with a famous artist there; then go to Holland to see the painter’s works first hand; and then return and in a San Antonio warehouse carefully build the artist’s studio depicted in the painting so that he can project the image onto a surface with the camera obscura that he had built. The guy even grounds his own lenses in his desire to use only the resources that Vermeer would have had. Yes, and this obsessive attention to authenticity includes grinding and mixing his own oil colors as well, there being no tubes of paint back then! To duplicate the exact design of the furniture in the original painting, Jenison sets up a lathe and turns the table legs himself. Darn if he didn’t even have to cut the lathe in half and remount it to make it wide enough to turn the overly long sticks of wood into the legs. Talk about obsessiveness in regard to detail—and yes, he also builds the harpsichord that is in the painting! Eventually he gets down to tracing the image of the studio and the woman and her music teacher onto a canvas and applying paint (after trying it with a photograph). The result is an amazing replica of the original by a man who says he never has taken an art lesson. -
See more at: this site.

The original by Vermeer

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

The Art of Kissing

I stumbled across a delightful little book and it is entitled "The Art of Kissing" by Hugh Morris. Couldn't find any Hugh Morris so I searched further and maybe it is a book with the same title by Clement Wood from 1926. Anyway, the book I read was full of good advice:

Lift your lips away slightly, center them so that when you make contact there will be a perfect union. Notice, only momentarily, the picture of her teeth in her lips. And, then, like a sea-gull ' swooping gracefully down through the air, bring your lips down firmly onto the lips of the girl who is quivering in; your arms.
Kiss her!
Kiss her as though, at that moment, nothing else exists in the world. Kiss her as though your entire life is wrapped up into the period of the kiss. Kiss her as though there is nothing else that you would rather be doing. Kiss her!

Is that wonderful advice or is that wonderful advice? There are many kinds of different kisses of course. In "The Art of Kissing" there is The "Vacuum" Kiss, The "Spiritual" Kiss, The "Eyelash" Kiss and The "Nip" Kiss. I chose for you the fifth kiss: The "Pain" Kiss.

The "Pain kiss" is with this seemingly paradoxical pleasure that we shall deal with now. First of all, it is necessary to explain that, although an act can be painful, it can still be pleasurable. The explanation is merely another indication of the variability of human nature. To begin, there are some people who derive an extreme pleasure out of being whipped or burned or beaten. There is no rational explanation for this strange, delight. The fact remains that they react pleasurably to pain.
These people are called masochists. Similarly, there are other people who derive the same pleasure out of being the ones who inflict pain or perform the beating. Their abnormality, too, is inexplicable. They are called sadists.
The point is this: these people have these strange desires in extremes. But normal people have similar desires but they are not so strong. They are present only in minute degrees. That is why some of us deliberately uncover ourselves in cold weather or continue to pick at a sore tooth although the act pains us. It is for this reason that most of us are able to derive pleasure from the "pain kiss."
The "pain kiss" is simply a tiny bite, a love nip.

Catullus, who knew his kissing, if we are to judge from the many poems he left on the subject, once wrote:
Whom wilt thou for thy lover choose?
Whose shall they call thee, false one, whose?
Who shall thy darted kisses sip,
While thy keen love-bites scar his lip?

Pain kiss

Monday, 18 August 2014

Request for Discipline

In my work there are forms for everything. So I was not at all surprised when I walked into this form on the internet: A request for discipline. It's a joke (I hope), and I thought it might be nice to share it here.

Sunday, 17 August 2014

Reunited and it feels so good

Yesterday evening I gave my wife her bank card back that I took away from her last Sunday. She took it back from me and sang with some sarcasm I think Reunited and it feels so good. Do you know that song? I hope not. Anyway she looked at me with that look women sometimes have. That " You think you are so clever, huh?" look.

Don't tell me, I don't know how she survived last week either.
Anyway the final conclusion of Quattuordecim Challenge number seven.

On to the next one. 11 envelopes still to deal with.

Sunday poem, second stanza, third line

A contemplative poem on Sunday. Just like it should be.

Once upon a time flew this rambling Dutchman,
from his loose stool holding his eruptive abdomen.
That's Gross, my reader said with a frown,
at least now I know why your blog is brown. ...

Charlie Brown loves his unattainable red haired girl
got finally his act together and gave her a whirl
The red haired girl was startled and slapped his face

Next line, Next week.

Saturday, 16 August 2014

Are you mad?

I have really fond memories to some of the Ted Talks. Ted Talks are themed conferences about science, religion, sports, anything interesting. Idea's worth spreading.

Click link below

Link to Ted Talk

I couldn't get Blondies blog post from yesterday out of my head. It kept going and going in my mind. And finally, after several hours, I ended up with this Ted Talk: Jon Ronson talking about the DSM-disorders. (And I was thinking that BDSM was in the four previous versions of the encyclopedia of mental illnesses a mental disorder. In the last revision they cut it out.) There are 374 mental disorders described in the current DSM V list.

2,9 million people saw this video already, chances are you have as well. If you didn't I really recommend it. It is 18 minutes long. Or short as I lived through it.

Friday, 15 August 2014

The light that rises from your feet to your hair

The light that rises from your feet to your hair,
the strength enfolding your delicate form,
are not mother of pearl, not chilly silver:
you are made of bread, a bread the fire adores.

The grain grew high in its harvest of you,
in good time the flour swelled;
as the dough rose, doubling your breasts,
my love was the coal waiting ready in the earth.

Oh, bread your forehead, your legs, your mouth,
bread I devour, born with the morning light,
my love, beacon-flag of the bakeries:

fire taugh you a lesson of the blood;
you learned your holiness from flour,
from bread your language and aroma. 

Pablo Neruda

Wednesday, 13 August 2014


How very American is that Weight Watchers meeting. I love the website BTW. It has all the statistics a nerd can ask for. All women and one man (me) sitting in a circle and talking about points. It is contagious. I dream about points. Anyway lost exactly 1,5 kilo's last week. OK, it's my first week. Have mercy.

Satisfied with that. It could have been more if I didn't make Cat's cookies last Monday. Ah, well should have shown some character perhaps. There were delicious, Cat!

My motivation to go on

Sins' poison

There are some highlights from  the project "All of Bach" I just need to write about. This time it is the solo cantata "Widerstehe doch der Sünde" is probably one of the very early Bach cantatas, possibly his sixth if we put all the 200 cantatas in chronological order. It dates from the period Bach was working in the Weimar court (1708-1717).Bach used the first aria again in his St Mark Passion. All of Bach recorded in the Geertekerk in Utrecht. Pay attention to the conductor Lars Ulrik Mortensen. He is not only playing the harpsichord, but the whole Geertekerk as well ;-)

The cantata was probably sung in Leipzig by a boy. Now it it sung by Maarten Engeltjes (funny name Maarten Angelic in English), a countertenor. That is a man with a high voice. Quite popular nowadays. I prefer a female alto, the sound is so much warmer if it us sung by a woman. Anyway that seldom happens anymore, the countertenors are quite popular these days.

Enjoy about 12 minutes of Bach's music. 

BWV 54 - "Widerstehe doch der Sünde" Johann Sebastiaan Bach
Cantata for Oculi 1. Arie A
Widerstehe doch der Sünde,
Sonst ergreifet dich ihr Gift.
Laß dich nicht den Satan blenden;
Denn die Gottes Ehre schänden,
Trifft ein Fluch, der tödlich ist.
Just resist sin, lest its poison seize you.
Don't let Satan blind you;
for those who defile God's honor
will incur a curse that is deadly.
2. Rezitativ A Die Art verruchter Sünden
Ist zwar von außen wunderschön;
Allein man muß
Hernach mit Kummer und Verdruß
Viel Ungemach empfinden.
Von außen ist sie Gold;
Doch, will man weiter gehn,
So zeigt sich nur ein leerer Schatten
Und übertünchtes Grab.
Sie ist den Sodomsäpfeln gleich,
Und die sich mit derselben gatten,
Gelangen nicht in Gottes Reich.
Sie ist als wie ein scharfes Schwert,
Das uns durch Leib und Seele fährt.
2. Recitative A The appearance of vile sin
is indeed outwardly very beautiful;
however one must
afterwards with trouble and frustration
experience much hardship.
On the outside it is gold;
yet, going further in,
it shows itself as only an empty shadow
and a whitewashed grave.
It is like the apples of Sodom,
and those who engage themselves with it
will not achieve God's Kingdom.
It is like a sharp sword,
that pierces through body and soul.
3. Arie A Wer Sünde tut, der ist vom Teufel,
Denn dieser hat sie aufgebracht.
Doch wenn man ihren schnöden Banden
Mit rechter Andacht widerstanden,
Hat sie sich gleich davongemacht.
3. Aria A Whoever sins is of the devil,
since he has brought it forth.
Yet if one is able, with virtuous devotion,
to withstand its contemptible bonds,
it is already done away with.
Georg Christian Lehm, 1711

Monday, 11 August 2014

How old is Spring?

Unwillingly Miranda wakes,
Feels the sun with terror,
One unwilling step she takes,
Shuddering to the mirror.

Miranda in Miranda's sight
Is old and gray and dirty;
Twenty-nine she was last night;
This morning she is thirty.

Shining like the morning star,
Like the twilight shining,
Haunted by a calendar,
Miranda is a-pining.

Silly girl, silver girl,
Draw the mirror toward you;
Time who makes the years to whirl
Adorned as he adored you.

Time is timelessness for you;
Calendars for the human;
What's a year, or thirty, to
Loveliness made woman?

Oh, Night will not see thirty again,
Yet soft her wing, Miranda;
Pick up your glass and tell me, then--
How old is Spring, Miranda?

Ogden Nash

Sunday, 10 August 2014

Result Quattuordecim challenge number seven

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. And sometimes winning feels like losing and the other way around. This week I realized at last that what I was looking forward to, wasn't going to happen. The question rephrased, above and beyond the tattoo issues, would be: "If your lover would ask you to do something would you do it, just because he asked you to?"

The "punishment" has been agreed upon before the start of the game. I have her bankcard now, so she cannot spend money for a week. That includes gas money, so if the car runs out of gas, she will have to go to work with public transportation. I'll provide her with the necessary public transportation card.

Next week will be inconvenient for her, but not more than that, I think. However, the next P-point means handing over that bankcard for two weeks. She is bound to have more problems with that. With three games done, one safecard and 14 envelopes there are 10 dares left in the game. That is a lot.

We agreed on a 14 day break before doing another one. That gives us time to talk. During these challenges we don't talk about the challenge itself. That is something that just happened, and was not prearranged. We talked about a lot of other things of course, but not about this. And with hindsight, it maybe a good thing. I cannot persuade her into something she doesn't want, and she cannot negotiate herself out of it. Nonetheless we have to talk. I want clear air before the next one starts and no (hidden) resentment on either side. It is a game; nothing less, but nothing more either.

Finally I am grateful for your support and comments in the challenge. To those who participated: thank you! and to those who did not: Please feel free to say what you think about the challenge.

Sunday poem, second stanza, second line

A contemplative poem on Sunday. Just like it should be.

Once upon a time flew this rambling Dutchman,
from his loose stool holding his eruptive abdomen.
That's Gross, my reader said with a frown,
at least now I know why your blog is brown. ...

Charlie Brown loves his unattainable red haired girl
got finally his act together and gave her a whirl

Next line, Next week.

Saturday, 9 August 2014


I like old paintings. 17th century Dutch art is my favourite. But that doesn't mean I cannot appreciate contemporary art as well. This painting was made by Deborah Poynton (born in 1970) and it is titled Truth. The picture is brutal, shocking and honest. The man and woman looks so frail and yet so strong. Awesome details. The look on the face of the woman I will remember for a long time.

I just had to share it.

Ginger Figging

Sometimes you want to make a post and find out someone has written it before, and better than you ever could. So this is a seven year old post of  Franklin Veaux who was kind enough to give me permission to use it. So brace yourself, or rather, add some ginger to your shopping list.

What is Figging?

"Figging" is a name for a practice involving the use of ginger root for stimulation. It's a practice with historical roots; allegedly, this technique was developed during Victorian times as a way to discipline wayward women. In any event, it's great fun for people who enjoy moderate to fairly intense sensation play, and it's quite unlike anything else I've discovered.

At its simplest, figging is the practice of peeling and carving a piece of ginger root into a butt plug and inserting it in the anus. The ginger oils gradually create a warming, then a mildly burning sensation, that becomes much more intense if the recipient squeezes down around the root. It's surprisingly easy to do, and one of the nice things about it is that it can create moderately intense sensations without any risk of injuring or harming your partner.

Figging is a fairly rare practice that seems to have declined in popularity recently, which I think is a shame because it's so easy and the effects are so interesting. It's a lot of fun, and I encourage people to experiment with it. So without further ado, here's a simple tutorial that you can use as a how-to guide for figging.

Starting out

All you need to experiment with figging is a ginger root and a sharp kitchen knife. Look for a complete, intact ginger root, rather than one that's been cut up beforehand; once cut, the ginger oil is exposed to air, and the potecy decreases significantly (unless you ferment the root, which I'll describe below).

The ginger root, for those who haven't seen one, is a central oblong root a little smaller than a fist with several round, thick "fingers" extending from it. The root is covered with a tough skin. The goal is to carve out one of the fingers, peel it, and whittle it down into an appropriate size and shape to be used as a butt plug.

A sharp kitchen knife makes very short work of the ginger root. You'll want to cut out one of the "fingers" by carving into the heart of the root, so that the finished plug is long enough to use without getting lost. The pictures below show step by step how to carve out the root, and you can get a sense of how large the root is by comparing it to the knife:

How to carve a ginger root for figging

Choose a finger and cut it from the root by slicing through the central part of the root. Peel the skin off the finger and carve it smooth and rounded, a bit larger around than your thumb (or thicker if your partner really likes anal play), as shown in the second photo. Round off the end of the root and remove all traces of the skin; the ginger oils won't penetrate the skin of the root, so you'll want to remove it completely. Near the base of the finger, carve a shallow groove as shown in the third picture. This acts to hold the root in place when you insert it.

That's really all there is to it. Once you have the root carved as shown in the third part of the picture, rinse it off under running water and you're ready to begin.

Safety Tip 
After you've carved the ginger, wash your hands thoroughly. Otherwise, you'll probably have ginger oils on your hands, and you don't want to touch your eyes or your partner's eyes without washing your hands.

Have your partner lie down face up or face down with legs open. Slowly work the ginger root into your partner anally until you reach the groove you carved. This groove will prevent the root from moving and hold it there. Don't use lube on the root; you'll find that it'll be slippery enough to work fine without lube, and adding lube will prevent the ginger oil from doing its job.

Then wait. The results don't happen right away; they build up slowly over time. Your partner will begin to feel a sense of warmth, which will increase steadily until it starts to tingle, then over several minutes become more and more intense.

Next steps

When the ginger works its magic, you can do what the Victorians did and take this as your cue to turn your partner face-down for some good old-fashioned impact play. The victorians would use a crop at this point; if that's your thing, you can find a guide to cropping here. Or, you can simply spank your partner with your hand, if you like. Figging works great with spanking, paddling, or cropping because if your partner tenses up and tightens in anticipation of the smack, the ginger root will create a very sharp burning, which won't go away until your partner relaxes.

But, of course, not tightening up means that the smack is more intense. Ah, decisions, decisions...

The ginger will probably last about fifteen or twenty minutes, after which the burning sensation will fade very quickly.

Safety Tip 2
Do not use very small pieces of ginger. You don't want to end up like that porn star in hospital and be the entertainment of the day to the ER-staff. She used a bit of ginger that was too small so she couldn't get it out anymore. The size in the picture above looks fine to me. (Han) 

If your partner is female:

You need not restrict yourself to using the ginger anally. You can also carve a piece of ginger into a dildo for use vaginally, where the effects are more directly sexual; some women say that ginger root creates very strong sexual arousal.

To do this, start with the same basic idea as carving the butt plug from the ginger, but you need not carve the groove in the base of the finger. Leave enough of the central part of the root that you can grip the end and use it as a handle; and as before, take care not to touch your eyes after handling peeled ginger.

Yet another way you can add some delicious excitement to the experience is by carving a small (about 1/2" long) wedge from the central part of the root, then scooping a concave depression in the top of the wedge.

Spread your partner's labia open and place the wedge, narrow end forward, directly over her clitoris, so that the scooped depression snuggles down directly over her clit. As before, the sensation builds slowly, beginning as a sense of coolness and then growing steadily into a moderately strong tingle. For many women, this tingle is accompanied by strong sexual arousal and a strong desire to orgasm. When combined with vaginal or anal penetration, it's quite intense and a great deal of fun. Depending on how your partner's body is shaped, you may find that you can tuck the wedge in place so that it stays put without holding it.

Tips for advanced figging

Figging is a lot of fun, but for some people, the sensations aren't really strong enough to have the desired effect. The potency of fresh, newly-cut ginger is moderately strong, but some folks like a little more sensation. You can get this sensation by fermenting the ginger before you use it.

To do this, take a piece of ginger root and seal it in a plastic baggie or wrap it tightly in plastic wrap, then refrigerate it for three or four days. After it's been sitting in the refrigerator for several days, remove it from the plastic wrap. If the skin of the ginger is discolored or has mold spots on it, don't worry; that's perfectly normal.

Peel and carve the root as shown above. Ginger that's been tightly wrapped in an airtight plastic bag and refrigerated for a few days will be much more potent, and the sensation will be significantly stronger. Experiment with aging it for varying lengths of time to find the point that's most enjoyable!

There are many more gems on this blog, how about a refreshing ice dildo next week?

Friday, 8 August 2014

The purist

I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."

Ogden Nash

Be careful with guys wearing T-shirts like this one

Hold on for dear life

This picture contains something, and I don't know what it is. Maybe it is the black and white?   I renamed it Holding on for dear life because the feeling of desperation is so evident to me. I want him to lift his head, or her to turn her head to us to know, you know, that they are... Well not fine, but just good. You know?

Do you agree this is a disturbing picture?

Thursday, 7 August 2014

Help! A man at Weight Watchers

Tonight I joined the club of the

It was quite a shock to the 12 ladies present at this weekly weigh meeting. Grinning. You can log in on the Web and you get access to the complete Weight Watchers site. (doesn't work.will call them tomorrow!)

Anyway I found out that I told my girl and my daughter quite often how to deal with their weight problems. Only to find I was not giving the right example myself. So I took step 1 today and enlisted in the blah, blah class. Those ladies will have to get used to me every week.

My starting weight is 101.5 kilo's and in 6 month's it will be 75. The point I want to make is: eat healthty things, and you will slowly but surely loose weight. I will keep you posted on my battle against fat the next month.

How to make your own flogger for $4 or less

The trouble with the Internet is, now you've got it, and the next day you'll have a blank screen. There was this wonderful website called Bondage on a Buck, but it is now offline. However on YouTube there are still a few video's left.

The thing about bondage and discipline is it all is so very expensive. To people on a budget, like we are I suppose, there are creative solutions for expensive gadgets. This video shows how to make from a floor mop a flogger. The great thing is it is a very relaxed video. The cat jumps halfway in the video on the table, but nobody cares.

A real Do It Yourself (DIY) video. Enjoy!


Wednesday, 6 August 2014


I love new words. Petrichor is a new one. At least to me it is...

Visiting mum's grave

We have buried my uncle several years ago in a graveyard deep in the forest. A very nice walk through the woods, and we stopped at a tree and beneath that there was a hole in the ground for the coffin. It was a peaceful place, just the noise of the forest, nothing else. Not a big grave monument in the forest, just a simple small rectangular stone with a name and dates.

I was Saturday at the gravesite of my mother. I don't go there often anymore. I discovered it is not peaceful, not quiet, not meaningful to be there. My mom is dead for over 17 years now. I wandered around aimlessly, not wanting to leave yet after the flowers were delivered and found that people have a perishable date of six or seven years. Until that time the graves are cherished, with a sea of solar light things near the grave, flowers, clean stone. After six years or so the stones get dirty, the flowers are stale and old. Unkept. Most of them, not all of course.

Life goes on, of course it does. Even my father has in his eighties a girlfriend to keep him company. That is good. Really, it's good. 17 years is a long, long time but to some people 17 months is just as long. Who am I to judge? I won't.

But walking around in graveyard with the deafening sounds of cars speeding on the motorway, not a silent place anywhere I suddenly finally decided I wanted to be cremated. So my daughter don't have to walk aimlessly on a place full of noise and  to keep the flowers fresh for years and years.

It is good to remember.

But you don't need this place to do just that.


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